This is my 1st time, forgive me if I ramble...

To start let me explain....those of you who know me know how I am...I am a happy, outgoing, friendly person.  I am known to put every other persons needs above my own.  Of course I do, duh~I'm a mom of 4 & a wife..they all come before me.  I can honestly say I don't know how to put myself any where but at the back of the pack.  Just like almost every other mom/wife out there, myfamily & their needs come before ours.  Somewhere along the way I completely lost myself & my identity.  I am Tony's wife, Giuliano, Azzurra, Attilio & Angelo's mom...but I am not Bridget.   Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being every single one of these things, but I am sad that I don't know who I am any more.

I am starting a new journey in my life to figure out what & who I am supposed to be.  I am sad that somewhere in this thing I call my life, I lost ME.  I know that I have let myself go..I don't take care of myself, I don't sleep like I should, I don't eat like I should, I don't exercise any where remotely close to where I should....there are all of these things I am not, or I don't do & it is hard knowing that I failed at so many things.  I don't like to fail!!!!  So here I am, with tears streaming down my face, making a promise to myself, that I am going to do something about it...I am going to fix ME & make ME a little more important then the bottom of the barrel.   I know that I will always put my family first, that is just the person I am, but I will make myself learn to take time for me, to be me, to find me again.  

This is the 1st time I have ever done something like this, putting things out there for anyone & everyone to read & to judge. I don't do this for sympathy or to have people feel sorry for me, but this is me...this is me now, this is where I have been for the last several months and I don't like it, I don't like me. Now it's time to do something about it.